slow moving but ever changing

my focus in life is to create my "best life ever". in doing so I want to experience moments with great joy, an open mind and just be.  what I am learning is that I am constantly learning.  I do not always feel happy or joyous but I do try to be grateful and learn something so I can create more of what I enjoy and experience less of what I do not. I also realize this process is slow. very slow sometimes. I can be in a "funk" for hours & days (used to be weeks/months when I was depressed).  I also realize my wants, needs, likes and dislikes are ever changing.  What I enjoyed to pass the time away two years ago is different than now. Also I am not as eager to try new things as I get older. Although I want to something deep down holds me back. I think that something is fear and doubt.  Which brings me back to my best life ever.  With fear and doubt creeping in I am not living my best life ever. Fear and don't are uneasy emotions where as joy is a highly satisfying emotion.  This conundrum is ever so frustrating and sometimes heartbreaking. Alas today is just another day. and as I continue on my quest for my best life ever I have added a quest to squash doubt & fear from my life. one day at a time.